Friendly Mom Tips

Time for another edition of Friendly Mom Tips.  Its been awhile since the last edition.

I just feel its important not to keep all this good, helpful knowledge to myself, ya know?  

Its not that I have any personal experience with any of this.  I hear these things, around town, and just want to make sure you know what you're doing.  I'm fine.  Completely.

Do Not... (or so I've heard) continue to change your son's diaper when he has "the look" and you are pretty sure he is relieving himself.  I mean, even though he might not be, and you really have to get back to what you were doing (whatever that was), don't go there.  It might end up messy.  Pun intended.  Strap on some flippin' patience Hang tight and wait it out.  Its all about timing.

Do Not... smile sweetly as you listen to your husband asking about the bath towels, hearing only every few words (car, dirty, gross) and respond, "I'm sure its fine", and then be amazed later when you towel off with a nasty, old, car wash towel.  He tried to warn you.

I'm sure if you were to do this (which you wouldn't right?), it would be because it was very early when he told you the towels might not be the "right ones"....and you were in an insomnia-induced coma when you later showered off with dirty, stained-up, car wash towel.

Do Not... decide to finally join Crackbook Facebook when you are about to head out of the country on a missions trip.  Honestly, don't you have enough to do already?  And definitely don't have alerts sent to your email when you own a Mac that dings every time you receive a message....sending you flying from any spot in the house to the office to see what's happening in everyone else's world.  That is pure addiction, my friends, and I'm sure there is a group out there for you.  

And finally, Do Not... (and this one is worth repeating!) do not try to sleep through 70 mph winds with shingles flying off your roof and down the street.  If it sounds like you are being attacked by Al-Qaeda and it continues on for more than 2 hours....it is not going to "die down anytime now." Don't be naive.  Take your entire gaggle down to the basement and fight the real war...which means settling everyone down and convincing them this is a planned family camp out.

Thanks, once again, to all my friends for passing on these very helpful tips.  If you have any to pass along, feel free.

Friendly Mom Tip

Its been quite a while since I had a good, friendly tip to pass along.  

(I am just sitting here....trying to figure out how to tell this story without looking like mean-grouchy-Mommy?  Pretty much impossible.  Just start typing.)

I threw my child's craft out the car window today.

Madeline came out of Art class with a really gooey, gobs-of-paint, not-even-close-to-dry craft. 

Am I the only one that thinks DRY crafts are good ones to send home?

We start the drive home and Madeline begins to explain that her art teacher said to be "very careful" because this "special" paint only comes out with bleach.

Am I the only huge fan of washable paints?

I try not to notice that not only are both of our hands covered in said paint, but her (brand new, first-time-to-wear) shirt is also adorned with this lovely liquid.

We take a corner and the craft slides.  I now see paint on the car leather.  

Another left turn.  The craft comes into contact with a book.

Next turn.  It almost lands on the carpet.

Paint is everywhere.

And that is when Crafty Craft found its way onto the pavement.  I wish I could say I had thought it through more carefully.  I just popped open the window and tossed it out.

I am proud of my daughter for how she handled her mean-grouchy-Mommy.  It took grace.

Not only did I need to apologize for tossing out her craft but I had to say I was sorry (to the whole gaggle) for littering.  

Not Ok.  Definitely. Not. Ok.

I am thankful for grace.  

And so, my friends, do not -- in a moment of sheer frustration -- toss your child's craft out the window.  Don't do it.

Just a Friendly Mom Tip.

Friendly Mom Tips

Occasionally, I like to give my tens of thousands (ok, its just tens) of readers a few helpful tips. These, said tips, have been passed along to me (I have no personal experience with them, nope. None.) and I - being the great friend that I am - would, of course, pass them along to you.

Wow.  That was the longest, run-on sentence with incomplete grammar and punctuation that I've ever written.

Ok, we're back.  Do you remember these tips?  A friendly Mom passed along some laundry tips - which of course I paid close attention to - and thus have not had any problems with laundry since.

But, in case you have:

Do Not... ask for a New-Mom-In-Town's phone number and then wash the paper with your dark load the next day.  That is the opposite of a friendly "Welcome to town!"  And, if you were to happen to do that, definitely do not call the horse farm you  just visited and appear to be stalking New Mom.  It does not go over well (or so I've heard.)

Do Not...  wash (sensing a theme here?) your $10 Born Free Sippee Cup in the washing machine and then spend the next 4 hours wondering if it is still BPA-free.  Even the FDA would agree that bisphenol-A does not enter the cup during the wash cycle.  They might wonder, however, why you aren't using the dishwasher.

Do Not... pretend that you are still the hip Mommy that knows how to ride horses (because you took one class in college, many moons ago) and offer to demonstrate trotting for other Mommies.  DO NOT DO THAT.  EVER.  Unless you like walking around looking extremely bow-legged and popping Advil.  For. Several. Days.

And Finally....Do Not.... put your children to bed absolutely filthy dirty, from an entire day of outside play, and complete with black feet from the trampoline, and expect the sheets to not have brown streaks on them the next morning.  

Bathe your children, that night, like any respectable parent would do.  

A final "thank you" to the gracious friend who passed these Friendly Tips along.