Thursday, February 12, 2009

Friendly Mom Tips

Time for another edition of Friendly Mom Tips.  Its been awhile since the last edition.
I just feel its important not to keep all this good, helpful knowledge to myself, ya know?  

Its not that I have any personal experience with any of this.  I hear these things, around town, and just want to make sure you know what you're doing.  I'm fine.  Completely.

Do Not... (or so I've heard) continue to change your son's diaper when he has "the look" and you are pretty sure he is relieving himself.  I mean, even though he might not be, and you really have to get back to what you were doing (whatever that was), don't go there.  It might end up messy.  Pun intended.  Strap on some flippin' patience Hang tight and wait it out.  Its all about timing.

Do Not... smile sweetly as you listen to your husband asking about the bath towels, hearing only every few words (car, dirty, gross) and respond, "I'm sure its fine", and then be amazed later when you towel off with a nasty, old, car wash towel.  He tried to warn you.

I'm sure if you were to do this (which you wouldn't right?), it would be because it was very early when he told you the towels might not be the "right ones"....and you were in an insomnia-induced coma when you later showered off with dirty, stained-up, car wash towel.

Do Not... decide to finally join Crackbook Facebook when you are about to head out of the country on a missions trip.  Honestly, don't you have enough to do already?  And definitely don't have alerts sent to your email when you own a Mac that dings every time you receive a message....sending you flying from any spot in the house to the office to see what's happening in everyone else's world.  That is pure addiction, my friends, and I'm sure there is a group out there for you.  

And finally, Do Not... (and this one is worth repeating!) do not try to sleep through 70 mph winds with shingles flying off your roof and down the street.  If it sounds like you are being attacked by Al-Qaeda and it continues on for more than 2 hours....it is not going to "die down anytime now." Don't be naive.  Take your entire gaggle down to the basement and fight the real war...which means settling everyone down and convincing them this is a planned family camp out.

Thanks, once again, to all my friends for passing on these very helpful tips.  If you have any to pass along, feel free.

3 comments:

Becky said...

Hilariously perfect!!!

I'm so glad none of these things have ever happened to you. Sweet relief!

Anonymous said...

Here's my tip...

Always, Always double check the laundry before it's thrown into the wash. I accidently washed a disposable diaper the other day...Yuck!

Jen said...

Once again, your tips have changed my life.

;)